Yoruichi and Kisuke Drabble Collection
by ox Autumn Facade xo
Summary: Chapter Two: Morning Afternoons. Just how hard IS it to get Kisuke Urahara out of bed?
1. Cat Got Your Tongue?

Well, I've decided to finally make a drabble collection for my new favorite couple! Yoruichi and Kisuke! Don't worry IchiRuki, you're a very close second :D. Anyway, this is the first chapter to my Kisuke/Yoruichi oneshots collection, hope you enjoy it!

**Cat Got Your Tongue?**

"Are the keys in the ignition?"

"Yeah."

"'Kay, turn them just a little bit until you hear the engine start up, then let go."

"Alright."

Yoruichi bit down on her bottom lip and squeezed her eyes shut as she slowly turned the ignition key and heard the rumbling of something up front. She had no idea what it was, so naturally, it scared the shit out of her.

"What the hell is that!?" She exclaimed, tightly gripping onto the steering wheel and whirling her head around every which way.

He chuckled lightly as he leaned back and placed his hands behind his head. It was rather amusing that she didn't understand what an engine was, or even a car for that matter. But it was fine with him, he would be there to teach her.

"It's the engine." He replied calmly as he yawned.

"Don't you dare go falling asleep while you're teaching me, Kisuke." She said, eyeing him carefully as she raised one slim eyebrow.

"Alright, alright, Shihouin. Relax." He said as he sat up and stretched his arms out. "I'm awake."

She covered her mouth with her arm as she coughed "Lazy ass bum" into her sleeve and quickly looked in the other direction.

"Heard that, Yoruichi." He said as he frowned and lifted his hat off of his head, dusting it off. "That wasn't a very nice thing to say."

"Hmm?" She said innocently as she batted her eyelashes and slightly pouted at him. "Did I say something wrong, Kisuke?"

He sighed and began laughing again as he placed his hat back on his head. "No, nevermind, Princess."

She couldn't help but to laugh along with him, but only for a moment. Princess? Where'd that one come from? If he was trying to be a smooth talker, she wasn't buying it.

"'Kay." She said, holding her head high as she stared out the dashboard window. "Well, now what do I do?"

"See that peddle down there? The long one?" He said, leaning over to point at the gas peddle.

"Yeah."

"Lighly press down on it with your foot."

"Which one?" She said, staring at him for an answer.

"I don't care."

"Which one?" She repeated, this time a little irritated.

"Uhmmm...the right one." He said, shaking his head. "And then pull the stick forward."

"What?"

"This is a stick shift. You gotta use it to move the car."

"What the hell is the stick?"

"That thing stickin' out right in the middle of the damn seats." He answered, emphasizing his statement with a quick point to the stick.

"Well don't get mad. How the hell am I supposed to know this shit?"

"Yoruichi, just push it forward and step on the gas."

"The what?"

"The peddle I just pointed to a minute ago." He was trying to keep his patience, but it was getting harder by the second.

"Alright." She moved the stick with a grunt and pushed her foot down on the gas peddle.

But apparently she hadn't listened so carefully when he had said 'lightly', 'cause the second she set her foot on it, they were sailing down the alleyway behind Kisuke's shop like a giant road runner.

And there were lots and lots of pot-holes. Bump. Bump. Bump.

"Kiiisuke!" She said, turning her head frantically to look at him, her words were bouncy from the bumpy ride.

He was holding onto his hat with one hand, and the seat with the other. His eyes were _enormous_. She thought they were going to fly out of his head. "What the hell are you doooiing!? I said LIGHTLY!"

**Bump.**

She could see smoke rising out of the hood of the car, and she figured that wasn't a good thing. And she also saw there was a tree in the way. The tree she had just _crashed_ into.

He let go of his grip on the seat and sat up, looking around, and then at her, to make sure she wasn't hurt. And to much of his relief, she was fine. Sure, she may be scared of ever driving a stick shift car for the rest of her life, or even any car in general, but he was just happy she was okay. So he thought he would laugh it off.

First he just started to chuckle, then it turned into full outbursts of laughter.

She was confused.

"Why the hell are you laughing, Kisuke!? Are you mocking me!?" She said as she swatted his hat right off his head.

He stopped laughing as he gasped and bent down to pick it up almost immediately.

"Hey, now. Don't take it out on the hat, he hasn't done anything wrong." He said as he patted the top of the hat and waved his finger at her.

"Kisuke..." She said quietly, a whisper, really.

"Huh?"

"You're an idiot." She said even softer, and a smile curved itself along her lips just before she leaned over and pecked him on the lips. Only seconds later she found herself sitting in his lap and his head was resting atop of hers.

He was a little confused. _Happy_, but confused. But he didn't really care about the confusion, he had Yoruichi Shihouin in his lap, and what man in their right mind is going to complain about such a thing?

And so they just simply sat there, for at least fifteen minutes before she stirred.

"Problem?" He said as she was turning herself around to face him.

"Nope." She answered as she placed both of her hands on his shoulders and landed her lips right back onto his.

His hands rested on her lower back as he welcomed her kiss with much desire. Yeah, his only car was trashed, but the way the lesson ended made up for it, one hundred percent. A few seconds into his 'situation' with the Shihouin, he heard his cell phone ringing, and naturally reached down to answer it. But a certain someone gently grabbed his hand and put it back exactly where it was before. He got the impression that she wanted to continue with no interruptions, and he was in no position to argue with that. He had no problem with it whatsoever.

He could hear a voice speaking on his voice mail, and he recognized it as being Rukia's.

"Urahara? You there? I know you're available, just answer your damn phone for once! What's the problem, cat got your tongue?"

He smiled from that last statement, and all he had to say about it was,

"Exactly."

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That's the first to the collection of KisuYoru drabbles, tell me whatcha think!


	2. Morning Afternoons

Second chapter to my drabble collection, I'll be adding to this randomly.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Bleach. Or Yoruichi...or _**Kisuke**_...

**Morning Afternoons**

The sun was gleaming through the window, it was warm. The day was already beautiful.

But it was 1 in the afternoon and she wanted to get up out of bed already.

She rolled herself over on the bed onto him and poked his forehead a few times. The response she received was a little disappointing, since all he did was groan.

"Kisuke..."

"Hmm..."

"Wake uuuup." She said with her forehead pressing against his.

"It's too early, babe..." He complained as he pulled the covers over the two of them, Yoruichi had tugged them off.

"It's the afternoon, _babe_." She said, flicking his nose.

"What time...?" He asked groggily.

"One." She said as she placed her middle finger and her thumb on each of his cheeks and squeezed them together, causing his lips to pucker out.

He tried to protest but words just couldn't form while his face resembled a fish. She had him just where she wanted him.

Until he decided to doze off again.

So _she_ decided it was time for phase three.

She rested her head on his chest and she could feel him exhale in relief that she had given up. There was no way she'd give up on him so easy. She always made sure that she won. She trailed her hands on each of his bare sides and curled her fingers as she wiggled them around, causing him to wriggle about until he pushed her hands off of him.

"Hey, hey! No tickling a sleeping man!" He said as he sat up.

She simply rolled back over onto her own side and stared up at the ceiling with a happy and mischievious smile. Mission accomplished, he was now sitting up.

"Then get up." She said as she turned her head to face him.

"Why?" He complained as he laid back down. "It's so early..."

"Because this place gets _so_ lonely, walking around all by myself." She said as she pouted and walked her fingers up his shoulder. "And because it's already the afternoon..."

He tried to ignore her the best he could, but she was making it rather hard. Especially after she pulled all of the blankets off.

She climbed out of bed and walked slowly around it, purposely swaying her hips as she tied her hair up into a messy pony tail. She knew he was watching, and that's exactly why she was dawdling around so slowly.

"Kisuke." She said as she fixed her hair in the mirror.

"What?"

"If you get up, I'll make pancakes."

"And bacon?" He added with enthusiasm.

"Oh, honey, don't push it." She said as she turned around.

"What about you make me breakfast in bed?" He suggested hopefully.

She raised an eyebrow and shot him a look that told him he wasn't going to be getting pancakes in bed.

"Ahw, why not?" He whined.

"Didn't I say don't push it?" She asked, crossing her arms.

"Yes..." He answered carefully.

"And don't you think that maybe breakfast in bed would be pushing it?"

"I guess so."

"Then that's why." She said so simply.

"Ah."

"So, are you going to get up?"

"Ohhh, I dunno."

"Here's your choices: pancakes, or cold pizza. Again."

He quickly stepped out of bed and smiled at her, "Okay, okay, I'm up."

"Uh-huh." She said, waving a hand in the air as she walked out of the bedroom.

He yawned, stretching his arms into the air as he searched around the room for his hat. It wasn't on the the nightstand, which was odd, since that's where he had left it the previous night.

"Yoruichi! Have you seen--"

"No." She called down the hall.

"But I didn't--"

"I don't know where it is, Kisuke."

He walked into the kitchen to see her hovering over the oven with pancake batter, and also with _his _hat on her head. So he stepped behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his head on her shoulder.

"So, I have a question." He said, his lips brushing against her earlobe.

"Oh, really?"

"Mmhmm."

"And what is that?"

"Why are you wearing my hat?"

"Ohhh, maybe because it looks much cuter on _me_." She answered as she turned her head, rubbing her cheek against his whiskery chin.

"Hmm." He said backing away and placing his hand on his chin. "Well, that may be true, but it's _my _hat, kitty."

"But it covers up too much of your face. I like you better without it."

He shrugged as he lifted her up by her waist and sat her down on the counter.

"No cooking if I don't get my hat back."

She crossed her arms and looked away from him. "That's not going to work, Kisuke." She wanted this to be over quickly, because the fact was, she _really_ wanted some pancakes.

"Hmm." He knelt down and curled his fingers under her toes.

She bit down on her bottom lip as her eyes teared up. She wasn't going to laugh, she had to hold it in. If she laughed, it meant he won, and she _wasn't_ going to let him win. Tickling wasn't going to make her give in.

After seeing that his plan was proving uneffective, he stood back up and tapped his left foot as he placed his hand back on his chin.

"So what do I need to do in order to get it back, Miss Yoruichi?"

"Tell me that I win." She answered quickly.

He pondered on it for a bit, and he still couldn't come up with any further ideas, but he wasn't letting her win so easy.

"No, I don't think so --"

She had leaned down, pressing her lips against his as she placed his hat back on his head and laced her arms around his neck. He picked her up at her waist and brought her closer while she wrapped her legs around him, causing him to stumbled backwards into the refridgerator.

She pulled away from him for just a moment. "Do I win?" She asked innocently.

"Oh, you most definitely win." He said with a smile as his lips met hers yet again.

She abruptly pulled away again, to his dismay, and her eyes suddenly grew wide.

"Shit, I burned the pancakes!"

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Just a oneshot about Kisuke's laziness and pancakes.

Please review!


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